Bikemum

I am not a very mushy person. It is hard for me to express my appreciation and affection for others verbally. It makes me feel squirrely and insecure, like if I tell someone how I really feel they may run for the hills. However, I can’t let my husband Twain’s song go unsung.

I am crazy lucky. I have been married 23 years and to still feel incredibly happy to be sharing my life and family with Twain. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams even when it has cost him dearly. I wanted kids. I wanted to move to Maine.  I wanted to travel. I wanted to return to school to get my Masters degree. I wanted a dog, He always simply says, “If you can make it work, you should do it.” Okay, maybe he didn’t say that about the dog,  maybe I fought for that, but…

So, this bike trip. He has been encouraging me for years. I have been fantasizing about it forever, but reality kept pulling me home. What about the money? What about us? What about his dreams? Shouldn’t I be pulling my fair share? But, he has never wavered. He has consistently told me that we will find a way , even when all signs pointed to the countrary.

He believes that this ride could be a game changer for Oakley. All of Oakley’s energy could be harnessed and used to build his confidence and appreciation of the world instead of it being viewed as too much and something for which he is constantly being scolded for.  Twain wants Oakley and me to be happy and to experience life to it’s fullest.

Our family will be stressed because of this trip. Twain may have to turn our home into a bed and breakfast while we are away to help cover costs. We may have to take out a loan. He will have to take care of our dog (the one that I had to fight for), and he will continue to go to work every day. even though he also loves adventure. But, he says “Go,” “I will be here.”

Either he is an incredibly generous person or….he he has a shady ulterior motive. I chose to believe the first. I love him. That’s it. I wish we could all be so generous to each other. 

12 years ago. Story time at the public library. Ten little three-year-olds sit on their bottoms watching the librarian perform a lively and entertaining puppet show. The children’s mothers lounge on the floor by their children, laughing along with them and delighting in the enraptured look on the young faces. Except for one mother. Me. I try to look relaxed and engaged, but the truth is my internal pressure gauge is rapidly rising. Oakley is not sitting with me. He has wiggled out of my grasp and is now in the front of the room trying to converse with the puppets in the show. He keeps leaning his head into the puppet theater to see where they go when they are not on the stage. He is speaking loudly, asking the people in the audience where they are hiding and is pushing against the flimsy puppet stage in an uncoordinated manner. “Oakley, come sit down,” I say as gently as possible As if. I know too well where this is heading. He shoots me a look, full of impish daring. I eye the nearest exit. It seems miles across the library. “Oakley, come here.”

I start to crawl up to where he stands in front of the crowd. My cheeks redden and I feel unaccountably hot. Why did I ever try to bring him here? Something about the fluorescent lights, the quiet tones and the cavernous space always makes Oakley become unglued. I must have had a lapse in judgment when I thought it would be fun. Oakley looks at me again, grins and snatches a puppet right off the librarian’s hand. “No Oakley!” I half-shout and half groan. I reach for him, but it is too late; he is off. All the mothers smile sympathetically at me, and the librarian pops her head up. “Uh-oh,” she says.

Uh-oh nothing…this is just the beginning. I stand up and walk swiftly after Oakley. I do not dare run in the library. “Oakley,” I call in my best public, I-can-handle-this voice; “This is not funny; come back.” He darts between two shelves of books and sprints with the puppet in his hand to the farthest recesses of the library; I am in hot pursuit. He weaves from one aisle to the next and squeals with delight as I gain on him. “Oakley,” I hiss when I think no one can hear, “Stop.” He is little, but nimble and without sprinting there is no way I can get him. He seems to know that I don’t want an embarrassing scene and uses it to his advantage. He zooms out to the study corral area and shrieks with unbridled joy. He is obviously enjoying the sound of his own voice bouncing off the high ceilings in this quiet atmosphere. People all around the library are now watching, many look annoyed, a few curious about who will win our little game tag and one or two look genuinely sympathetic. The puppet show lady is now standing up staring at our spectacle and all the children who were watching her show are now watching our show. As he flies by the check-out area another librarian calls out “He can’t do that in here!”

No shit Sherlock, I think, but I just smile at her and weakly reply that I know. He spins down a reference aisle and I start to lose it. I am now openly running, realizing that it is the only way. Again I hiss “ Stop or I will pull your ear!” Somehow that sounds more dignified than shouting that I will spank him. I close the gap between us, then lunge. I grab the back of his shirt and pull him to me. His squeals of delight turn to screams of outrage. “Let me go, let me go!” He thrashes and writhes and I can barely hold him.
Tucking his 40 pound body under my arm in a football hold I try to walk back to the children’s section to return the puppet. It is no easy task. Sweat covers my body. He is putting up an intense fight to match his intense fury. I return the puppet and beg forgiveness. The mothers are no longer smiling, many are averting their eyes. I realize that I can not leave the library carrying him and our assorted bags while he is tantruming and we have to get out of here. So, praying no one in this library knows me, I take his jacket and tie it around his arms and torso like a straight jacket. I tie it in the back. Grasp the knot tightly in one hand, hold our things in the other and drag him against his will out of the library, like a trussed turkey. Everyone watching us. Finally, we make our way out the doors and on to the side walk. Exhausted and in desperate need of a regroup, I sit both of us down on the curb. I look at Oakley, The fresh air has stilled him. He is not screaming anymore, he has moved on and is blissfully watching the cars pass by. “Oakley, you can’t do that, it makes mama so sad.”
“You proud of me?’ Asks Oakley.

“No Oakley, I am angry that you ran away and screamed in the library.”
“Don’t be angry, be proud!” Oakley grins wildly and his eyes shine. It is obvious that he doesn’t get it. He thinks that we just played a romping game of chase. He was only angry because he lost. Now he sparkles.
“Ugh” I groan. How can I love this little nut so much? Another trip to the library, another year off my life.

This story sums up Oakley’s and my life together. He has brought me to my knees countless times and filled my heart to the brim with pride. He has an incredible love of life and readiness to take on the world. Now at 15 he bikes on 6 foot tall unicycles, does back flips, juggles and still laughs with a maniacal glee. He is still the same nut he was at three, and he still doesn’t do well keeping his bum on the floor. That is who I am biking with.

There has been an early snow and a drastic drop in temperature here on Peaks Island. Peaks is a bucolic island, two miles off the coast of Portland, Maine. It is populated by 1,000 hardy souls three seasons of the year, and balloons up to 4,000 in the summer. It is an ideal place to raise a family. A ferry runs hourly back and forth to the city and it provides the best of urban and rural living. Our family works and goes to school in the city and then we come home to a yard full of beehives, gardens and fruit trees with beaches and forests just a block or two away. Most everybody on the island knows each other and for the most part, get along. Not many secrets, tons of gossip and a cozy small-town feel. How can I complain?

Well, one can feel a bit stuck here. There is a four-mile shore road that circumnavigates the island and I walk or run it just about every day. It is beautiful, but after the 10th time in a week, it can begin to feel like a running on a hamster wheel. Going to town as an alternative can sometimes feel like an insurmountable effort. We ride the ferry six or seven times a week and everything in Portland costs money. To entertain myself at home, I have baked, played the piano, eaten and drank to a gluttonous level with my family (it was Thanksgiving break), exercised and read. 

Yet, here it is, November 25th, and already, I feel a bit of small house madness. No surprise right? Oakley is bouncing off the walls, finding no purchase for his boundless energy. The trampoline is covered with snow, the unicycles have been put in the basement and there is a moratorium on screen time in our house. This leaves him at a loss. He runs up and down the stairs like a galloping colt in a too small pen. He begs for snacks, begs for screen time, begs for snacks etc. We make him go outside. He runs around finding friends than they all come back here and continue the running and begging routine. Last night I dreamt I looked up at the living room ceiling and found it pockmarked with chunks of broken plaster and lathe. I asked my husband what happened and he said “It is from Oakley’s stomping.” This bike trip can’t happen soon enough. If it doesn’t the walls of our house will collapse and Oakley and I might combust.

My name is Oakley Bradenday. When my mother first began talking about this bike trip I was not excited. I thought it was a terrible idea. In fact, I hate biking and every time I have gone biking with my mom, I have tried to make it a living hell for her and anyone else that was with us. But, she has been talking about it so much that I am getting used to the idea. I know there will be times on the trip that I hate it and might hate her too. I am willing to go but, don’t forget, I still hate biking.