Stuck With Me

Oakley turned 18 the other day. It was bittersweet, to be sure. I am happy to see he is becoming a young man, but sad that I am slowly losing my ability to guide and control him. He is going to have to learn some hard lessons on his own, and his inner voice is going to have to get louder than his mother’s. It is inevitable and important. I wonder how much longer I will be able to coerce him into adventuring with me? He has been my excuse for everything: Oakley needed to bicycle across the country; Oakley needed Adventure Wednesdays; Oakley needed me to switch careers and open a bike shop; Oakley needed me to keep in great shape to keep up with him.

I think everybody knows the truth; I am the one who has needed Oakley.

Don’t get me wrong, he drives me crazy. I can tell you endless tales of Oakley debacles if you get me started, but the fact is, he has allowed me to run wild with him in the name of parenthood, and running wild is what I do best.

Currently, our adventuring has been focused on Lighthouse Bikes, our new bike shop, and I feel a bit anemic due to our lack of physical exertion, the outdoors and the unknown. I am like a dog barking at the fence waiting for the gate to open again. I know it will, and we are already concocting big plans for the winter, when the shop is closed, but for now, Oakley and I need to sit tight and limit ourselves to day-long expeditions. Last week we snuck in a sweltering 32-mile ride to get ice cream, and next week, a mountain bike ride at Mt. Abrams.

To celebrate Oakley’s birthday, we went out and got matching tattoos, commemorating our trip across the United States and all our other biking adventures together. I have never had a tattoo, nor really thought much about them, but when your 18-year-old asks you to get matching ones, in between your shouting matches, there is only one answer: Yes.

The design we chose is the symbol used on signs that designate a bike route on America’s state highways, back roads, and bike paths, but for us it was a symbol of much more than that. It is a reminder that we have the strength to persevere through all sorts of challenges, that we will always be a team, and that there is always a way forward, regardless of flats, broken spokes, bad choices and upset. And I hope that at least once he looks down at it when faced with a difficult decision, and it helps guide him when he is on his own.

I have also used it as leverage, of course. He made an oath to go on one bike tour a year with me until he is 25. Manipulative ? Yes. I am no peach, and not quite ready to let him go.

22 thoughts on “Stuck With Me”

  2. Very sweet story. And happy belated birthday to Oakley! Y’all have been a great team!

    1. Thanks Wendy! I won’t be at the shop tomorrow-I am adventuring with oaks. Should I leave my bike /panniers and sleeping bad there for you or do you want to pick them up on the morning of the 8th?

  4. IN A WORLD THAT SEEMS TO BE HEADED THE OTHER WAY, YOU ARE THE HEART OF HOPE HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

  5. The tattoo = make good decisions. What a wonderful forever bond. I used to tell my sons just that when they were teenagers and about to go out for the evening. “Guys, make good decisions.” I trust they did.

  7. Wonderful….Oakley is soo lucky to have you as a parent!!! I realize you just wrote how lucky you are, so it’s a win win. Love your articulation of your experiences together. Best wishes and massive good luck kin your new adventure!

  8. Leah, thank you so much for sharing your stories. Absolutely enjoyed reading about your gratitude and love for Oakley. I am also thrilled that you two engage in so many fun and wild adventures together! 💜

  9. Like all young people he needs his space, be careful not to smother him. 18 years old I would think he has or needs friends guys and girls his age to do some adventures with. Your love and compassion for his well-being is obvious and rare in this day and age. Iron sharpens iron! Keep sharpening each other!

    1. You and I are on similar journeys. E cited to see your tattoo! Thanks for all your support!

  11. Leah, you are indeed an awesome bike mum. Happy Brithday to Oakley. And long may your adventures continue!!

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