It has been a little more than two weeks since Oakley and I returned from our bike journey across the United States. We are gradually re-assimilating into our community, our responsibilities and our routines. But we are not the same. Our bicycle adventure feels like it has changed the lenses through which we see. No joke.
Speaking for myself, I feel 10 years younger. I have energy and enthusiasm that I have not felt since I was 30. I feel as though, if you could peak beneath my skin, instead of blood and guts you would find the fields of Kansas with golden oats blowing in the wind under a clear blue sky. You would find the clear rivers tumulting down from the Cascade Mountains in Oregon. You would find the sound of coyotes yipping and yodeling under the Wyoming night sky. You would find a stranger, offering me shelter, a cup of coffee and a donut in Kentucky and warming up my heart, belly and giving me courage.
As for Oakley, he too is changed. He told me this weekend that he felt that people were treating him like a he was an adult lately, and it made him want to act like one. A neighbor stopped my husband and me on a walk this morning and commented that the biggest change she sees in Oakley, aside from his stature, confidence and strength, is that he doesn’t seem twitchy anymore. He is contained and relaxed and moves with ease and composure. It is true. There is an inner calm in him.
A few times since our return, Oakley has needed a reminder that his behavior was becoming too intense. I have separated him from others at these points and was able to have calm conversations with him. “Is this how you want to be?” Or: “Remember on our trip, how we did it differently?” And he does remember. And he does regroup without becoming deregulated. He wants this. He knows how good it feels to be in control and be granted adult status.
The other day Oakley and I went for a walk to check in with each other. We talked all about the trip. We talked about how being home is sometimes overstimulating. I told him I would do it again next summer if I could, and he said he would do it again when he was 30. I guess I didn’t scar him for life after all.
I wish everybody could have a reboot such as ours every once in a while. Now I face trying to recreate a career and find ways to dig us out of the financial pit that our bike trip created. Yesterday my husband and I sat down at the kitchen table and analyzed the train wreck of our finances. But I don’t feel overwhelmed. I feel like there are endless possibilities, and if I just stay open to them it will work all out.
This Thursday, Oakley and I are giving a slide show about our trip at the local community center. I absolutely detest public speaking, but it seems important to share our tale with everybody who supported us. I will be uncomfortable and a jittery mess, but if I can bike across the country, I can do this. I can do a lot that I never thought I could.
thank you for talking about what’s going on *after* the trek. as always, i enjoy ur crystal-clear prose and honesty. keep going! good luck with the slide show!
ur fan,
j.
The end of your adventure brings tears to my eyes. It has been a pleasure to share your journey and live vicariously through the two of you. I applaud your courage. You two are my hero’s.
What I have come to learn – you can accomplish anything you put your mind to doing as long as you believe.
Congrats on the journey you have endured and congrats on how you are applying it to your new lives. I will miss your stories but will remember the lesson – “keep plugging away – it will all work out in the end”. Than you again for sharing your story. Gloria
Epic journey! Happy for you- bike on this way next!
Public speaking jitters? Consider how vested these people (friends!) are in your journey. They are present to hear your stories, NOT to critique your every word and gesture. Speak as though you are addressing your 3 closest friends. Your audience is not hostile but is expecting to be supportive and enjoy all that you are sharing. Enjoy (and good luck)!
looking forward to it!
I really wish I were there to share your wonderful journey!
GREAT to see you both back and so happy you’re neighbors again.
Sorry to miss Thursday’s talk but sure it will be good –
I have loved reading your posts. Thanks so much to both of you for writing so beautifully & honestly about your amazing adventure. It was a wonderful, brave thing to do together. I wish I lived close enough to watch your slideshow. Carry on!
Mary Jane (friend of Taryn, Laird, & Julia)
For sure, Oakley has been transformed. It is clear even from a distance. You also look terrific, and I hope I can make it Thursday because I’m dying to hear about it first hand. You’ve definitely got this.
You both are remarkable- an inspiration! I have loved following along. Your writing is real and relatable. And I was so happy to see another post from you! I hope that Jack and I can come to the slide show. I encourage awkward! Cannot thank you enough for sharing your adventure. xo Josi
If your core presentation is authentic and genuine there is no need for jitters about your presentation! You two knocked it out of the park now just share from your heart and love about the truth you encountered, blessing.
I would love to come to your slideshow, but I have mom duties on Thursday. Perhaps you will do it again sometime in the future. Welcome home.
I hope and pray you compile all your blogs, along with added insights and experiences (and pictures as well, of course) of your grand adventure and get it out to the masses. There are many who would enjoy and appreciate your sharing. Amazon.com is a good venue. Sharing at bike clubs in your area will open up added venues. You have much to give and I believe it can and will reap financial as well as other benefits. Of course, I’m sure you are likely already considering this, eh? lol
I admired you. Throughout uour journey. I see a book possible. Please keep writing,. I plan to do Canada in a few years on a pedal bike too.
We’ve both enjoyed your account of your amazing journey. We are pleased that Oakely has benefited hugely from the experience, and we wish you all well for the future xx
What’s this fear of “public speaking”…..you’re home with friends. Hearing your stories will cap off your great prose we’ve enjoyed.
What time Thursday?
Hard to put into words how just reading about your adventures inspired and entertained me!! I’m thrilled for you both and your whole family… cuz it takes one!!
My BEST!!
Louise ❣️
How about a Go Fund Me page to help out with your finances! You were brave to do the trip and shouldn’t be punished financially. Judging from the various comments, most of your followers are friends/neigbors, someone you know should get it going. I’m a mom and a biker in FL who followed yor stories, I would love to contribute.
You are such an inspiration, even to this 80 year old who has a renewed interest in living more fully. Thank you.
I enjoyed reading about your adventures and looked forward to each installment. What wonderful memories you have made for Oakley. I only wish I had known your itinerary – would have loved to have met you in Pueblo, CO… we live up in Colorado Springs. You will do great with your talk!
Sometimes coming back from a tour is harder than leaving.. Job well done…
Forget about “public speaking” when you show your photos. Just talk and tell about what you did and what you saw. I have thoroughly enjoyed each of your blogs and looked forward to seeing and hearing about the next phase. If they kept me that interested, the slides and your comments will do the same.
(Maybe you can give another “show” when I return to Peaks in the summer so that I can enjoy it with you.)
You’ve got this! I wish I could go to the presentation. How ‘bout you write a book? You and Oakley? I would buy it.
Thank you both for the bike trip that included all of us, yet we didn’t have to pedal! I have so, so enjoyed your accounts. Everything you write rings true. That’s how it is with bike trips. Magic.
It will be a wonderful presentation! Have no fear. 😉
Congratulations on your trip! Memories will pay future dividends that you can’t imagine. Hopefully you’ll inspire others at your presentation to take on an adventure. A friend from Colter Bay laundromat.
I love you Leah. I’m so very proud of you.
You all are amazing! Wow!
Thank you for sharing your journey. I really enjoyed ‘riding along’.
For your presentation, some advice that helped me:
“Nervous During Presentations? Reframe How You Think of Them
When you get anxious during a presentation, focusing on your feelings will only make things worse. Research shows that being kind and generous reduces our stress levels, so fight your nerves by thinking of your talk as an act of kindness: You’re sharing something valuable with other people. Use this framing when you’re preparing the presentation. Rather than starting with your topic, start with some reflection. Ask yourself, Who will be in the room? What do they need from me? Then craft a presentation that directly addresses those needs. On the day of your talk, when you’re extra nervous, take slow, deep breaths and remind yourself that you are here to help your listeners. And then during the presentation, connect with your audience by making eye contact — even if you’d rather do anything else. Pretend you’re having a series of one-on-one conversations, providing each person with the information they need. This generosity mindset can turn a painful experience into one of giving.”